Saturday Golf w/ Stizzle…Charles Barkley…Constipation, etc…

by Mike Apathy

Friends, I’m only going to write a quick few paragraphs on this, as I don’t believe it warrants any more than that. Those who read my post yesterday, I’m writing this as a… Continue reading →

Gay Sex!

by Mike Apathy

Friends, Did that headline catch your attention? Personally I’m wondering how many perverts are going to type “Gay Sex” into Google today and get really bummed out when they’re directed to the Hamstring.… Continue reading →

There is no “I” in team. “Oh yeah? Well there ain’t no ‘we’ either.”

by Mike Apathy

Tyler, I don’t need you to do like Magic in the ’79 NBA Finals. I don’t need you to put up 82. I’m not asking you for your Willis Reed moment. Give me the ’91 Lakers. I’d… Continue reading →

“Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Randy Watson.”

by Mike Apathy

Friends, “Put your hands together for Mr. Randy Watson. Randy Watson everybody.” “Mr. RAAAAAANDY WAAAATSOON! Ha! Dat boy good!” Now obviously I don’t know, personally, the REAL Mr. Randy Watson (I have to… Continue reading →

“Fuck you. Fuck you. You’re cool. I’m out of here.”

by Mike Apathy

  Friends,   Your boy, Mike Apathy, is on vacation. That’s right. I’m Chevy Muthafuckin’ Chase and George Dubya Bush all wrapped up in one right now.   “I’m goin’, goin’…back, back…to Cali, Cali…Ughh…”   Even… Continue reading →

Turn on the idiot box NOOOOWWWW!

by Mike Apathy

Friends, My good friend, Tyler, is anti-television. His stance toward programming that doesn’t fall into one of the following categories is quite negative and rigid: Documentaries Indie Cinema The News Skateboarding (videos only,… Continue reading →

Stolen From The Interwebs

by Mike Apathy

  Friends, I am a connoisseur of the internet. Certain sites and content that I stumble across gives me the same satisfaction that a well-cellared Chateau Lafite 1787 would give my CEO. Though bragging about my knowledge… Continue reading →

Time to go to school! CHOP CHOP! C’mon, let’s go!

by Tyler

Dear Hamstring, Being that today is the official launch of The Octopus Hamstring, we wanted to do something special. We were lucky enough to get the esteemed Hobson St. Berdhaus to contribute an article to… Continue reading →