Pee on Your Feet, Motherfucker

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  Pee on Your Feet A new blog by Mike Apathy Octopus Mike Dorks, I just dropped some new hotness over at Pee on Your Feet. We discuss groundhogs making their nest inside of my… Continue reading

My Dog is a Rapist

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This is why we shouldn’t let our kids listen to Eminem, Marylin MANSON and Elvis Presley records. This filth is poisoning the youth and turning them all into hedonistic, nihilistic, Godless sexual deviants.… Continue reading

Self Portraits by Mike Apathy

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Just what the title says, Buttholes

Adult ADHD and Traveling at Light Speed

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Do you honkies ever feel like you’re out of step or just a few behind all the time? I don’t mean like Minor Threat either…it’s different than that. Do you ever feel like… Continue reading

Goddamn Coneheads

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I got a burrito outside on the patio and it was epic. Beldar wanted a bite, but I wouldn’t let him have one. Fuck that guy, why doesn’t he ever have his own… Continue reading

The Fight of the Century: Rumble in the Jungle

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Ladies and assholes, I present to you the best of the best; modern day gladiators engaging in combat purely for my amusement. Ahh who am I kidding, this article is going to be… Continue reading

Hat Trick???

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Hat trick? Technically yes. Even though this is just a bullshit post, auto-felating myself because I posted 3 updates in one night, it’s still a third post. Suck it, give me my bread.… Continue reading

Trying to get to sleep is like trying to catch a leprechaun…it’s hard…like the boys in the hood always are.

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Better watch out lady, you’re about to get Beldar’d…….which sounds like a great way for the young people out there to describe intoxication to one another. “Dude, MacKenzie (or some other ridiculous, self-important,… Continue reading

Surrealism in Suburbia

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“There is only one difference between a madman and me. I am not mad.” -Salvador Dali Llama

Where in the fuck can a guy get a cube to gleam around here? Huh?

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Thursday, May 3rd, House of Blues, Hollywood California 8:50 pm, Via text message Mike: They evicted me from that spot I had to go upstairs by will call. It’s a fucking John Hughes… Continue reading