Mike Apathy vs. The Volcano (And by Volcano I mean erectile dysfunction and unemployment.)

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90%’ers, 1. Divorce 2. 90 Days of Good Clean Time 3. Continued Unemployment 4. The IRS 5. Writers’ Block 6. Ballin’ so Hard Muhfuggaz Tryna Find Me I wasn’t lying about the ED… Continue reading

2012 in review

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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2012 annual report for this blog. Here’s an excerpt: 600 people reached the top of Mt. Everest in 2012. This blog got about 6,100 views in… Continue reading

Texting Tyler and Other Horrible Ideas for the Title of Taylor Swift’s Next Shitfest of an Album

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Mike: Just re-read the bro culture article. You’re right. That is pretty good. Octopus Mike needs to get back to his roots and off of the crazy. He needs Tyler to help too.… Continue reading

A late night/early morning email to Tyler from Mike Apathy

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To: Tyler@gmail.bullshit From: Mike@aol.soundsaboutright Time: Stop, Hammer Dear Tyler, I see your Mullen and perverted Steven Hawking and raise you Wang Chung, Deerfuck Chopra and more perverted Steven Tony Hawking. Your belief in… Continue reading

Hallucinations….but not the cool kind.

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Figured since I reference Mike in this one, this pic would be somewhat appropriate. That’s where the similarities end though. Read on. Find out for yourself, you lazy prick. So my ADD meds… Continue reading

Van Gough

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I am a Van Gough. I am a priceless Van Gough that I have covered up with black paint because I haven’t been able to recognize me for what I am. For whatever… Continue reading

Octopus Afficianado

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Note: Pretend this site looks classy all of a sudden….there’s a reason but its stupid. This is what the Hamstring should look like, but it doesn’t because we’re such brokedicks. I even gave… Continue reading

“The Ultimate Expression of Everything I Like About Horror Movies Inside a Themepark” as well as other Examples of Tyler being dumb….and also, I believed in Santa up until 6th grade

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*Disclaimer: If the title of this post is what enticed you to move forward, you’re in for a rude awakening. This post has jack shit nothing to do with any of that. Sorry… Continue reading

Dude, chill the fuck out.

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Why lately is it that every time I write something for this site I also happen to be squeezing shit from my Pillsbury in a public restroom? I’m at Starbucks in fucked up… Continue reading

…laughable….we, in thwe futre, will fail…I then ask why this will be?

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The following is the transcript of a conversation I had recently with a gentleman simply named, Styles. Yes. Like the van-driving, sunglasses-wearing other best friend (Boof being the other) of fucking Teen Wolf.… Continue reading