Author Archive

Snooch to the Nooch


Mike, If we’re able to transcend the fictional character of Silent Bob and examine the layers upon which he is built, you will indeed, at the core, I’m assuming, find an entity similar… Continue reading

Morrissey Loves Pussy


For Phat B and Mike, Tyler.

I Really Need a Hand (Job)


Dear friends, As you all know, thanks to Mike, I do think differently. Sometimes. It really depends. Maybe I’m just a little more vocal than most with regard to things I shouldn’t be… Continue reading

Google Search: “Picture of what?!?!?!”


Dear Hamstring, So, today I was happy to learn that some person, most likely a man, stumbled across our site after searching Google for “picture of the best tight ever vagina”. I’m going… Continue reading

A Brief History of Mike


Dear Hamstring, I really don’t know if this story is an appropriate follow-up to Mike’s Stephen Hawking piece, but I also don’t care enough to make it an issue. Reading that last post… Continue reading

It’s your conscious calling, Mike.


Mike, Holy fuck, man. You’re posting pictures of eggplants that look like penises while expecting me to deliver like Ali in the Philippines. I’m slightly befuddled here, and don’t get me wrong, Mike,… Continue reading

Dear Mike


Dear Mike, What the fuck, dude? Didn’t we agree on this whole thing being anonymous? Since the induction (I may or may not be using this word correctly) of this site Mike has… Continue reading

Time to go to school! CHOP CHOP! C’mon, let’s go!


Dear Hamstring, Being that today is the official launch of The Octopus Hamstring, we wanted to do something special. We were lucky enough to get the esteemed Hobson St. Berdhaus to contribute an article to… Continue reading



Ok, this sentence is being executed in order to assist me in figuring out what the fuck we’re doing here. Boom! -Tyler

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