Author Archive

Hallucinations….but not the cool kind.

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Figured since I reference Mike in this one, this pic would be somewhat appropriate. That’s where the similarities end though. Read on. Find out for yourself, you lazy prick. So my ADD meds… Continue reading

Van Gough

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I am a Van Gough. I am a priceless Van Gough that I have covered up with black paint because I haven’t been able to recognize me for what I am. For whatever… Continue reading

Octopus Afficianado

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Note: Pretend this site looks classy all of a sudden….there’s a reason but its stupid. This is what the Hamstring should look like, but it doesn’t because we’re such brokedicks. I even gave… Continue reading

“The Ultimate Expression of Everything I Like About Horror Movies Inside a Themepark” as well as other Examples of Tyler being dumb….and also, I believed in Santa up until 6th grade

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*Disclaimer: If the title of this post is what enticed you to move forward, you’re in for a rude awakening. This post has jack shit nothing to do with any of that. Sorry… Continue reading

Dude, chill the fuck out.

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Why lately is it that every time I write something for this site I also happen to be squeezing shit from my Pillsbury in a public restroom? I’m at Starbucks in fucked up… Continue reading

…laughable….we, in thwe futre, will fail…I then ask why this will be?

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The following is the transcript of a conversation I had recently with a gentleman simply named, Styles. Yes. Like the van-driving, sunglasses-wearing other best friend (Boof being the other) of fucking Teen Wolf.… Continue reading

Permalink

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Self Portraits Volume 2

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I’m Octopus Mike and I approve of this message. Kiss my ass.

How I See Obama and Romney

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  Actually Ruprecht could probably do a pretty decent job. Sure, he’s noticeably retarded but so was the guy in office before B-Rock, and he got to play freeze tag with his also-retarded… Continue reading

If you tell your kids they can be whatever they want to be when they grow up, you’re part of the problem.

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Actually scratch that…. If you have kids at all, period, you’re part of the problem. If your car was running on fumes, held together by duct tape with about 8 people crammed into… Continue reading