If you tell your kids they can be whatever they want to be when they grow up, you’re part of the problem.


Actually scratch that…. If you have kids at all, period, you’re part of the problem. If your car was running on fumes, held together by duct tape with about 8 people crammed into it (think gardening truck, frat boys playing that dumb get drunk and try to squeeze more fat freshman pledges into Boomer’s BMW while we stuff our penises inside passed out freshman girls’ vaginas, or something to that effect…) you don’t say what the hey and add more for the fuck of it do you?

Fact is that as much as we say it and talk about it nobody views Earth as home. They don’t comprehend the concept. If they did they’d stop having kids. That’s my proof. Overpopulation is the biggest problem that nobody’s talking about…. Well at least not on Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network and the Ocho, where I like to get my up to date insight on world affairs.

I’m not even really that pissed about it if that’s how I’m coming off. I’m pretty sure the point of no return got deepthroated by human kind years ago. What fascinates me is that only one generation of Americans experienced a true, in my opinion, utopia. Those goddamn baby boomers, that’s who. If you’re my age, 33, I’m talking about your mom and dad.

They grew up in a post war economic boom, where technology was becoming cheaper and more affordable. Rock and Roll wasn’t really making you think yet, and for the most part, unless you had ADD or some other very common but swept under the rug disorder you were smiling, drinking ovaltine and entering pine car derbies (learning how to bake delicious cakes if female…. Still entering pine car derbies if female, but attracted sexually to other females… Not to troll for pussy, it’s all dicks at the derby, but because of the masculine stereotype that certain subgroups of lesbians have attached to them….

Side bar :

I’m at Kaiser Permanente right now taking a shit while I’m writing this, I’ve been in here for a long time, it’s a one-banger too… Hope they’re not getting worried. Either way here’s a picture of the shit I just took. Haven’t waxed the fender yet so there won’t be anything in this photograph to distract from Mother Nature’s beauty.


Damn…. My ass thinks I’m at Popeyes cuz that looks like popcorn shrimp. Mmmmmmm…..

What was I saying before? Something about delicious cakes? I’m over it anyway, gotta make sure there’s no side of slaw sneaking around back there waiting for the perfect moment to escape just like his courageous popcorn shrimp friends. Peace out.