Adult ADHD and Traveling at Light Speed


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Do you honkies ever feel like you’re out of step or just a few behind all the time? I don’t mean like Minor Threat either…it’s different than that. Do you ever feel like you don’t have a partner and that your only friend is Los Angeles? Do you feel compelled to put out an assload of shitty CD’s about Los Angeles? And also fucking…you probably include a lot of songs about fucking in there too. The only redeeming quality RHCP had going for them was Frusciante. When a smacked out and most likely insufferable to be around, junkie with dentures the size of fun dip sticks thinks you suck and can’t stand to be around you…well I think that’s the time to look within yourself and then get to a hospital as quickly as possible because chances are you probably used some kind of sharp object to cut a hole in your body so you could look within yourself. Moron, who does that?! Pretty sure Roger Rabbit did in that one movie he was in a while back actually so never mind….

Steven Hawking is on record as saying that light speed is the only thing that Star Wars got right in regards to space travel. If man ever gains the ability to travel at this speed Hawking says that reality will actually slow down, as if frozen, during the travel experience.

I’ve applied this theory to my own life. It is as follows:

I am a straight-up motherfucking genius. While all you mouth-breathers are scooting along all idiot-like I’m literally traveling at the speed of fucking light. THIS is why it always seems like I’m a few steps behind. Time has actually slowed down for me which actually means that I’m living a few minutes in the past and all y’all be in the future….which sounds cool until you realize that everything in the past is better; Saturday morning cartoons, riding bikes in the neighborhood with Kevin and Josh, summer vacation, all that shit. When you see me walking down Chapman Ave in a few years pushing a shopping cart, talking to my belly button, it’s because I’m a genius and you are dumb.

Got it? Hell yeah.

How good don these look? Seriously. I ate these bastards last week.

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Been doing lots of self portraits lately. I’m a great fucking artist, dig this shit.

No mamas guey,

Mike

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