Trying to get to sleep is like trying to catch a leprechaun…it’s hard…like the boys in the hood always are.


Better watch out lady, you’re about to get Beldar’d…….which sounds like a great way for the young people out there to describe intoxication to one another.

“Dude, MacKenzie (or some other ridiculous, self-important, bullshit name they all have…Dakota, Brody, Scott, etc.) I got so beldar’d last night while playing with my rubic’s cube and listening to rock and roll on the FM radio.”


I’m wide awake, it’s morning (love you, Conor) and there’s work to be done. I’m not going to talk about how I hardly write anymore, there’s no goddamned point. It’s like when you purposely avoid phone calls with a certain person because you know that when you finally break down and answer, that prick spends the first 10 minutes moaning about how you never answer when they call. It’s like, we’re talking now butthole, if you’re bummed we rarely do, don’t entice me into future phone conversations by being insufferable right off the bat. Good fucking analogy.

Who the fuck watches The Nanny? Seriously. This show blew then and Nick at Nite blows for allowing this shit to keep on blowing. Sitcoms are bullshit by the way. Straight up. I get a kick out of Seinfeld, Friends and Intervention but aside from those, Sitcoms rank right up there with stepping on a fresh dog shit, barefoot. I can’t stand how the writers think that WE think all married men are stupid, fat, insecure bros and that all married women aren’t lazy whores. That’s how they write it anyway. That bullshit UPS man, Kevin James, shouldn’t be allowed to deliver packages if he’s going to be such a ridiculous, shallow male stereotype. How the fuck did he get started banging Stacy Kerosi anyway? Suuuuuuuurrrrrrre TV, like I’m going to believe that a hot, single and wealthy daughter of a beach resort-owner is going to invite that dumb turd’s dickpinkie into her vagina? C’mon…not that stupid. I’m this stupid. See below.


Time to wake up and go to work, sheep. Baaaaaaaaaaaaaa…..

Speaking of sheep, check out my tattoo.


Hamstring Forever, Muhfuckaz,