You Mean There’s a Game On?! Mike Apathy’s Big Sports Thingy XLVI Observations, Chapter 1
note: this was originally published just a few minutes ago on a new site I’m running, Riding a Dead Horse. Another site, you ask? More on that another time. Tyler and I are just fine, fyi.
Fuck off, Winston. I’m actually kind of busy right now. Who you trying to convince there by the way? I told you man, you’re cool. Just be yourself. Either way, I don’t have time to hear stories about your glory days as a top recruited running back at Jefferson High School (…or Washington High, Jackson High, etc…I can’t remember) before you ruptured your gallbladder, lost the farm to that evil railroad baron and somethefuckhow ended up at the ass-end of the Ghostbusters’ starting rotation (waiver deal? trade? called up from the minors?).
I’m watching the game, hanging out with the CDO and trying to write this shit all at the same time.
Don’t wander off too far though, I need a ride to get smokes at halftime.
This is the first (and realistically, probably the only) chapter of my Super Bowl XLVI Unintentional Comedy Observations and HOLY SHIT RIGHT NOW AS I TYPE THIS CLINT EASTWOOD IS DOING A DODGE COMMERCIAL AT HALFTIME AND HE SOUNDED EXACTLY GRAN TORINO…….I THINK HE FINALLY HAD HIS “AW FUCK IT….” MOMENT AND MADE THE TRANSFORMATION. NOW SHUT UP DRAGON LADY, AND GET ME ANOTHER BEER.
Where was I? Aw fuck it….
(my aw fuck it moment)
I’m only here for the unintentional comedy cuz I really can’t stand either team. No Black & Silver on the field? No Green & White, or Orange & Blue (CHI) either? No thanks, I’ll watch Lawn Bowling on the Ocho.
Here’s what I got so far:
Okay, maybe not exactly like Brian Williams, but if you squint your eyes like Leonardo DiCaprio (it’s not just in Inception, just ran a google image search and HE IS ALWAYS SQUINTING) and then look again, it should do the trick……then again, we all look the same anyway, right Oriental Lady Who Looks Like She’s 103 But Is Actually 56?!