Serj Tankian Look-a-likes at Stater Bros in Santa Ana…also, I’m boycotting the Chevron off of Fairhaven & Grand Ave.
Lets get this started off on a high note, cool? This is as good as its going to get from here; the plane’s gonna crash into the side of the fucking mountain directly following, and nobody’s going to live to write a book about it. Frankly, I’m okay with that. Then again, if you’re a regular reader of the Octopus Hamstring, you probably are too.
I’m pulling into the Stater Bros parking lot about 30 minutes ago to run into the liquor store and grab a Gatorade for the CDO. While waiting behind an SUV being driven by a BABY BOOMER* that’s clogging up all the space, so nobody can get around him, something caught my eye. I thought I saw Serj Tankian, the singer from System of a Down, walk into the supermarket. There’s no arguing that at one time SOAD were at one time, one of the biggest bands on the planet. And I don’t doubt, that they could still pack some pretty big venues. The SUV finally slid it’s fat ass into the parking spot (much like it’s driver will probably slide his fat ass into YOUR Social Security and Medicare benefits) and I was able to park, hop out of the shitbox and jet after Serj Tankian.
I caught up to him, told him about the site and asked if I could snap his picture for the Hamstring. At first he was a little taken aback. But who wouldn’t be when some out-of-breath, white, tattooed asshole stalks and tracks you down like an Arizona Republican hunting landscapers….or how American Idol hunts mediocrity.
Long story shit, that wasn’t a typo, Homie let me snap the pic. Santa Ana’s very own Serj Tankian.
By the way, all this happened in November. I’ve been sleeping on this post since. Before the toxicity in my city, I got drenched at the Chevron drive-thru car wash on Fairhaven and Grand. Because I don’t want to come off like a bigger dummy then I already do on this site, I will not be going into the details. I will say this though: The derpcheif running the car wash saw the whole thing go down and didn’t even chuckle. What the fuck?! I’ve worked at a gas station before…it’s boring and shitty and boring. Something of that magnitude would’ve been right up there with the first time I saw a titty.
That reason, more than the fact that they Katrina’d my ass, is why I will not be going back to that particular Chevron.
So I banned Tyler right? Dude has two drafts in the queue right now. I read them and they’re pretty good too. Rat bastard, stubborn sonofabitch… Dude’s unflappable.
Invest in boomerangs, I hear they’re making a comeback,