2011: The Year of Apathy Part 2
Predictions for 2012 (I may have stolen at least one of these from other places on the internet…okay, fine…just the first one):
1. North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un bests the likes of Usain Bolt and Michael Phelps in winning every gold medal in Swimming, Track and Field, and Rhythmic Gymnastics in the 2012 London Olympics. Kim Jong-Un dedicates his medals to his deceased father Kim Jong-Il, who starved the entire nation of North Korea so that his son could become a superstar athlete.
2. Meta World Peace (formerly Ron Artest) organizes a coalition of the world’s top thinkers, philanthropists, leaders and visionaries and actually lays down a well thought-out and surprisingly simple plan to achieve real world peace. The GOP squashes it by throwing a beer at him from the 5th row at Lakers/Wizards game, baiting him into the crowd, where he then punches a kid who’s wearing a Ben Wallace tshirt in the face.
3. The Chief Domestic Officer gets a job.
4. Tyler continues on his mission to become the planets laziest and and most apathetic blogger, posting even less frequently than he does now…if you can believe it.
5. The Mayans were right, and the world actually does end in 2012. Undoubtedly, this will be right after Albert Pujols steps up to the plate for his very first at-bat as an Angel, but right before the first pitch reaches his bat….which would’ve been a World Series-winning grandslam (yeah I know…suspend your disbelief). Duh.
6. A genuine, selfless, trustworthy man or woman, with the country’s best interests at heart, is elected president. What will come to be known as the beginning of honestly in American Politics will be born. It will last for generations, and it will be beautiful.
7. Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez almost give birth to the Antichrist. Tim Tebow, with special instructions from God (see Part 1 for picture of God), puts the kybash on it by rushing for a 15 yard touchdown. Then, the rapture happens, he disappears, and whatever team they’re playing wins.
8. The new Batman movie is fucking EPIC. FUCKING EPIC.
9. I marry Kobe Bryant and he forgets to sign a prenup. I leave him 6 months later and take half of everything he owns, but not before he rapes me in the ass at a hotel room in Denver on a trip to play the Nuggets.
10. I keep getting older and high school girls keep staying the same age.
11. The CDO’s friend, The Continental, eats the entire thing of ex-lax and is still unable to take that smooth, satisfying crap that she so desperately longs for. Maybe 2013…keep on truckin’.
Enjoy some more funny pictures I stole from Reddit and the Chive.
This is Mike Apathy signing off