Candy apples and razorblades; little dead are soon in graves. I remember Halloween.


In the spirit of Halloween, this is an attempt at a spookier-than-usual-post.

(I’m giggling to myself, thinking it would be funny if I attached a pic of my balls hanging out of my slacks, wrapped in Dracula’s cape.)

Tyler and I went to Active Ride Shop the other day to complete a deal we had made. I needed to buy him a hat.

A month or so ago, Tyler went to a benefit show sponsored by Volcom’s “Give Jeans a Chance” campaign, to collect used, but wearable, jeans for folks who need clothing. If you brought a used pair of Jeans to give, they’d give you a free ticket into the club to see Death by Stereo and Strung Out play. Fine, whatever. I’m a huge proponent of helping out the needy, but frankly at this point, I’d give a pair of jeans just to make sure I wouldn’t have to see Death by Stereo and Strung Out play live in a cramped club. The hook, at least for me anyway, was that they also gave you a really cool mesh hat that read, “Give jeans a chance.” I’m a big fan of Pissed Jeans, a sludgy, hardcore band that’s signed to Sub Pop. Matter of fact, I featured them in one of my music recommendation posts a little while back. My idea was to take a white-out pen and write the word, “Pissed” right above where the word, “Jeans” was placed on the hat. Anyway, Tyler liked my idea enough to give me the hat, but only if I replaced it with another hat. Fair enough. I bought him a new gym-hat to replace the one he was giving up, the one he’d been using for a while already.

Gross? Very.

Care? Not at all.

Either way, I have a slightly sweat-stained Pissed Jeans hat that nobody else has…feeling pretty cool right now…

B.A. (how Stizzle says something is badass)

So, Halloween….. yeah, cool. Here’s what I’m getting at. While at Active, we were looking around at shirts and things, too. When I found the shirt below, and confirmed they had it in my size, I got the same feeling the Goonies must’ve got when they finally found One-Eyed Willie’s rich stuff. Take a second…look at the picture below. Bask in the glory….I’ll wait:

Hell yes*. Love that shirt!

Tyler almost bought a shirt, some limited run, expensive skate brand of the week. It had a big pentagram on it, with the goat head juxtaposed on top. Cool as hell…..get it…hell??? Well he didn’t get it. I told him if we wanted something Satanic, we could make something ourselves, slap a Hamstring logo on it and be better off. So, ever since, I’ve had Anton Lavey, Alister Crowley, King Diamond and Sammy Davis Jr. on my mind. This is what’s going to lead us into the pit of damnation, the mouth of the abyss….or simply, the next part of this article…..

*Speaking of “Hell Yes”, I’m going to stay on track with the Halloween theme; Enjoy Alkaline Trio’s “Hell Yes” (back when they were good….seriously, “cool” kids now like to deny it, but AK3 were fucking awesome in the early-mid 2000’s) while you finish reading the post.

So……did anyone notice that we’re rocking a different Header Image today? I got tunnel vision again; it’s where I lock myself into a zone, completely tune out the world around me and dork-out. I banged all of these out earlier this morning. I was thinking about setting up a poll where you could vote on the Header you liked the best. I decided to just throw them all out here on a post. If you have a blog, and you want to use one, go ahead…copy/paste. Just do us a solid and drop a link to the Hamstring on your post. I scratch your back, you give me a handjob….or something like that.









Before I run, I wanted to let you all know that I’ll be heading out-of-town over the weekend (as if you guys give a shit…fuck, I’m narcissistic), so I’m thinking it might be fun to make bets on Silent Bob (Tyler). Will he drop an article before I get back? I happen to know, that for a fact, he’s been working on a helluva piece right now…it’s reminescent of VICE Magazine’s better content…matter of fact, he’s been working on it since my “Gay Sex!” article a few weeks ago. I’ve read the draft, it’s fantastic. How ’bout we make things interesting while I’m gone this weekend.

(Looks like we’re doing a poll afterall…..your mom’s doing a pole, too…)

If you think Tyler’s gonna man-up, finish his post and bang out an article*, vote for him. If you think he’s going to spend the weekend doing laundry and watching the Oxygen channel, vote against him.

*It doesn’t even have to be the one I’m referring to…..“THE OCTOPUS HAMSTRING GUIDE TO GAY SEX”….seruiously, that’s what he’s working on…’s fucking spectacular…now that the cat’s out of the bag, maybe he’ll feel obligated to bless us with his text on Twinks, Bears and Party & Play


Alright, Fiends……Is the Alkaline song over yet? If so, we’re gonna finish strong…..

Happy Halloween everyone. Talk to you next week.

Misfits – Halloween

Original Version

Crap-Sounding, but AWESOME live version

Alkaline Trio version

For Tyler,

This is Mike Apathy signing off.