Monday Morning Link: Angels Give Jared Weaver His Contract Extension

I am SO fucking stoked right now! 85 million reasons to be exact. Who's coming with me to the Goathill for Jaeger Bombs?!

I pull into work this morning, settle into my desk and prepare to turn on my computer. A coworker of mine, whom I often talk sports with, and I started some small talk.
“How was your weekend?”
“Oh it was lovely.The wife and I, blah, blah, blah, Home Depot, blah, blah, blah, Bed Bath & Beyond, blah, blah, blah, Olive Garden…”
Basically Frank the Tank’s shpiel from Old School, in the marriage counseling scene. I’ll assume you’re all familiar with it.
Anyway…he mentions to me that my Angels traded (or he had heard something to the effect of…) our staff ace, 2011 All-Star Game’s Starting Pitcher and leading AL Cy Young candidate, Jared Weaver. Bullshit. Arte Moreno’s made some pretty bush-league moves (letting Vlad walk, disappearing to the kids table during the Mark Teixeira and Carl Crawford negotiations, bringing in Vernon Wells, not sending out a handful of his gang-member cousins to strong-arm Scioscia into starting Conger and sending Mathis to the Minors, etc…), but this might have, to use the parlance of our times, driven me over the proverbial edge.
So, with the look of a child on Christmas morning, whose brother got the toy that HE had asked for, and who would surely refuse to share it with him, I dejectedly and pessimistically headed over to
So…my coworker; Let’s call him Private Pyle (he’s ex-Army, so hopefully that makes sense to you). Turns out he was dead wrong baby. He couldn’t have been more wrong. Unless this is some shrewd move by Weaver’s agent (Scott Boras, the Devil in human form, by the way…and I just say that because I wish I was as good a salesman as he is…), setting up a sign-and-trade, the classic baseball bait-and-switch used by players who want out of a “bad” situation.
I put the word, bad, in quotation marks because it’s unbelievably difficult for me to fathom any scenario where I’m making between seven and eight figures, and I consider the scenario a “bad” one. But I digress (I just realized that I use the phrase, “But I digress…” on here an awful lot, and I don’t really even know if I’m using it in the correct context…fuck it)…
Weaver’s 2011 Stat Line reads as follows:
14W, 6L (3rd most wins in the AL)
2.10 ERA (leading the AL)
158 K’s (7th best in the AL)
0.97 WHIP (tied for 2nd best in the AL w/ Josh Beckett in Boston)
Numbers don’t lie. And now you’ve got 85 million BIG reasons to stay in LA (Anaheim) and lead the charge. This is your team now, Jared. The torch was passed to Torii Hunter when Vlad left us, and now this signifies the hand-off to you. Hope you’re not gonna screw us, Weav’. My fingers are crossed…
Just remember this: If you leave, my dog will never look at his Angels blanket the same way again. Think of the dog, Jared. Think of the dog.

EDIT (8/22/11 @ 2:15pm) – Looks like there’s a full no-trade clause in the new deal. This makes me feel slightly more confident.

Here’s the first article on’s front page, and here is an opinion piece on the deal by, analyst, David Shoenfield.
For Tyler, Jared Weaver and the Devil himself,
This is Mike Apathy signing off.