Google Search: “Picture of what?!?!?!”

Dear Hamstring,

So, today I was happy to learn that some person, most likely a man, stumbled across our site after searching Google for “picture of the best tight ever vagina”. I’m going to assume that Mike’s likening a recent Descendents concert to a vagina is what led to the confusion. I wonder what the poor schmuck thought when he was greeted with our superfluous babble instead of a “picture of the best tight ever vagina”. This has also caused me to wonder what it is that our friend is really searching for. I’ve seen a vagina or two in my 29 years, and the disparity in tightness that can be perceived visually isn’t something worth getting all choked up about.

I wonder if this guy is some kind of “tight vagina” connoisseur? Or does he (or possibly she) just get all worked up when he sees one that appears clam like? I really couldn’t imagine masturbating to a photo of JUST a vagina. I believe it was Seth in the movie Super Bad who said that without a dick going into the vagina, it just doesn’t work. Personally, I get way more excited looking at pictures of cupcakes and puppies than I do looking at a picture of a labia. Anyways, my intention was to write something about capitalism’s affect on music. Forgive me. And hang in there, Mike, it’s coming.

Peace and chicken grease,